If you’ve ever come across any manga or anime, you’ve probably already heard people referred to as –san, –chan, –sensei or maybe –kun. These are Japanese honorifics, used in the same way one might use “sir” or “ma’am”, but it’s not quite that simple.

There’s no way to even give an absolute rule of thumb for using them: it’s a mix of politeness and an indication of the type of relationship people have with one another. In Japan, politeness is quite important, even in daily life, so it’s very useful to know what to make of these honorifics.

The main Japanese honorifics

Sanさん

This is probably the first honorific you’ll learn how to use. You can use it with anyone you don’t really know, regardless of their gender, age or social status. It’s a neutral term, which most closely resembles “Sir/Madam” and is used the most commonly. This suffix could also be added to company or business names, like a pastry shop (パン屋さん, pan-ya-san).

Chanちゃん

This is the most familiar honorific and is supposedly derived from children who couldn’t say “San” properly. This small mistake was considered cute and stayed in the language. It is used to refer to young women you’re close with, children, babies, a grandmother or even an animal you’re especially fond of. It can also be used in a couple or when talking about someone you like a lot. You therefore need to be careful who you use it with and avoid using it for people you’re not so close to.

Kunくん

This is a suffix seen as masculine, used for teenagers and young men. Sometimes, it is used to refer to young women, but only in very specific situations. It’s usually used by people seen as superior, since this honorific is mostly used when one person of higher status is talking to a younger person. Its politeness level is low and its kanji is the same as the one used for kimi (君), which is an informal way of saying “you”. It can be used when talking with a classmate, a younger brother or younger man. Men only use it with women they are close to and likewise, women will use it with men.

Samaさま

The use of the word -sama is the most formal, and is very special. This higher version of -san is used in very specific situations towards people who have a high status, such as with customers in the customer service industry, but more commonly when talking about Japanese deities 神様 (kami-sama). This Japanese honorific bears a sense of social superiority, as in the case of “the customer is king”, and customers are therefore referred to as お客様 (okyakusama).

Its English equivalent would be an extremely polite form of “Mister/Madam Customer.” Sometimes, this honorific will be attached to a word referring to a group of people or an audience, such as is the case with 皆様 (mina-sama; everyone), giving an extra layer of politeness to the group. Finally, you’ll also find this honorific in Japanese expressions, such as the famous お疲れ様です (otsukaresama desu), which is used to thank someone for their hard work.

Other common honorifics

There are many more Japanese honorifics, but some of the most common ones are: Buchou (部長), Kachou (課長), Shachou (社長) or Kaichou (会長), which refer to specifically ranked people in a company; and there are also honorifics used mostly in a school context like Senpai (先輩, older person), Kouhai (後輩, younger person) or Sensei (先生, teacher).